Building Rapport

• Establishing a connection can lead to more favorable outcomes.
• Listen actively and empathize with the other party.
• Be genuine and foster trust.

Tactical Empathy

• Understand and acknowledge the feelings and perspective of your counterpart.
• Demonstrating understanding can help de-escalate tensions.

Using Calibrated Questions

• Instead of making statements, ask open-ended questions.
• Questions like “How can I ensure that?” or “What about this is important to you?” force the other party to think critically and explain their stance.

The Power of Silence

• After making a proposal, let the silence hang.
• It might pressure the other side to concede or reveal information.

Anchoring (aka The Decoy Effect)

• Start with an extreme position to set the stage.
• Offer multiple proposals where one is clearly inferior,
• This makes your actual desired outcome seem more reasonable.

”Nibbling”

• After agreement on the main issue, ask for small concessions.
• They can add up and are often agreed upon without much thought.

BATNA (Best Alternative To Negotiated Agreement)

• Know your fallback plan if negotiations fail.
• It gives you leverage and confidence during the talk.

Zone of Possible Agreement (ZOPA)

• The range in which an agreement is satisfactory to both parties.
• Knowing your ZOPA can guide the negotiation process.

Splitting the Difference

• Compromising for the sake of it can lead to suboptimal outcomes.
• Focus on genuine value propositions rather than just meeting in the middle.

”Yes, and…”

• Build on what the other party is saying instead of outright rejecting.
• This keeps the conversation positive and solutions-focused.

”No” is the Start, Not the End

• Getting a “no” doesn’t mean the conversation is over.
• There are three kinds of “no”: Commitment “no”, Confirmation “no”, and Counter-offer “no”.
• Navigate through them to find a path forward.

Beware of “Yes”; Aim for “That’s Right”

• Getting someone to say “yes” can often be a trap, making them defensive.
• Instead, aim to get them to concede a point by saying “that’s right”, signaling real agreement.

Time Pressures

• Using deadlines can urge quicker decision-making.
• However, be wary. Others might use this against you.

Physical Mirroring

• Subtly mimic the body language and speech of the other party.
• It builds unconscious rapport and trust.

Verbal Mirroring

• Repeat the last few words your counterpart has just said.
• This encourages them to elaborate more on their point.

Changing Negotiators

• A fresh face can bring new energy or perspectives.
• Can be used to stall or reset negotiations.

The “Late Night FM DJ Voice”

• Use a calm and soothing voice, especially when delivering potentially unfavorable news or points.
• This helps maintain a calm atmosphere and prevent defensiveness.

Revealing Information Gradually

• Don’t lay all your cards on the table immediately.
• Gauge the other party’s reactions and adjust accordingly.

The Accusation Audit

• Before entering the negotiation, anticipate and address all the negative things the other party might think about you.
• This clears the air and makes the other side more amenable to your proposals.

The Flinch

• Show surprise at the other party’s offer, even if it’s expected.
• This can make them reconsider or offer better terms.

The “7-38-55” Rule

• 7% of a message is based on the words used, 38% from the tone of voice, and 55% from the body language.
• Be conscious of all these elements during a negotiation.

Reservation Price/Point

• The least favorable point at which you will accept a negotiated agreement.
• Knowing this beforehand prevents making unfavorable deals.

Reciprocity

• People tend to return favors, which can be used in negotiation. Offering something might lead the other party to reciprocate with concessions.

Objective Criteria

• Base your arguments on objective, external standards like market prices, expert opinions, or precedent.
• This adds credibility and fairness to your stance.

Active Listening

• More than just hearing words, it’s about understanding and interpretation. This skill helps build rapport and unearth underlying interests.

Reframing

• If discussions become stuck or negative, try to reframe or rephrase the problem or issue. This can help parties see things in a new light and find fresh solutions.

Multiple Equivalent Simultaneous Offers (MESOs)

• Instead of making one offer at a time, present multiple offers at once, all of which are equally acceptable to you. This can speed up negotiations and show flexibility.

Commitment

• Signal or demonstrate your commitment to the negotiation. This might be through gestures, actions, or other means.

Managing Emotions

• Both yours and your counterpart’s emotions can play a significant role. Recognize, manage, and use emotions constructively.

Preparation

• Perhaps the most fundamental aspect of negotiation. Know your interests, goals, and alternatives. The better prepared you are, the stronger your position.

Money Isn’t the Only Currency

• Respect, trust, future opportunities, or even simple favors can be equally valuable in a negotiation. Understanding what the other party truly values can provide leverage.

Embrace “I Don’t Know”

• It’s okay not to know everything. Sometimes, admitting ignorance can be a powerful negotiation tool, as it invites the other party to explain, possibly revealing more than they intended.

Always Be Prepared to Walk Away

• If you can’t walk away from a negotiation, you’re not really negotiating. If a deal doesn’t align with your goals or values, be prepared to leave it.

Passion and Emotion

• Harnessing your passion can persuade and move others. That said, it’s essential to differentiate between constructive passion and blinding emotion.

The Power of Listening

• Gathering information is key.
• The more you know about the other party’s desires, fears, and limitations, the better positioned you are.

Understand the Value of Time

• Time can be a weapon or a liability.
• In negotiations, understand when to press forward, when to hold back, and when to leverage the pressure of a ticking clock.

Seek Win-Win, But Protect Your Interests

• Ensure that any agreement you reach doesn’t compromise your core interests.

Question Everything

• Be inquisitive.
• Don’t take everything at face value.
• Dive deep, ask probing questions, and ensure that you have a thorough understanding of what’s on the table.

Know Yourself and Your Counterpart

• In a negotiation context: Understand your strengths, weaknesses, and what you’re willing to compromise on.
• Simultaneously, research and anticipate the desires and limits of the other party.

Strategic Positioning

• By strategically positioning yourself in a place of advantage or by taking the lead in discussions, you can open up more opportunities for favorable outcomes.

Avoid Prolonged Conflict

• Dragging out negotiations can drain resources and goodwill. Aim for timely resolutions.

Adaptability

• It’s essential to be adaptable and willing to change tactics or approaches based on the situation.
• Sometimes avoiding direct confrontations or contentious issues can lead to better overall outcomes.

Subterfuge and Deception

• While honesty is a cornerstone of good negotiation, there is also room for strategy, bluffing, and not showing all your cards immediately.

Backchannel Communications

• Sometimes, informal or preparatory discussions can pave the way for official negotiations, creating a foundation of understanding.

Patience is Key

• Understand that some of the best deals come with time. Don’t rush if it means compromising key points.

Understand Cultural Nuances

• Recognize and respect cultural or organizational differences, as they can significantly influence negotiation dynamics.

Preparation and Knowledge

• The more you know about the subject matter, the other party, and the context, the better positioned you are in any negotiation.

Realpolitik

• Focus on the practical implications and benefits of the deal, rather than getting bogged down in philosophical or ideological differences.