Establishing a connection can lead to more favorable outcomes.
Listen actively and empathize with the other party.
Be genuine and foster trust.
Tactical Empathy
Understand and acknowledge the feelings and perspective of your counterpart.
Demonstrating understanding can help de-escalate tensions.
Using Calibrated Questions
Instead of making statements, ask open-ended questions.
Questions like "How can I ensure that?" or "What about this is important to
you?" force the other party to think critically and explain their stance.
The Power of Silence
After making a proposal, let the silence hang.
It might pressure the other side to concede or reveal information.
Anchoring (aka The Decoy Effect)
Start with an extreme position to set the stage.
Offer multiple proposals where one is clearly inferior,
This makes your actual desired outcome seem more reasonable.
"Nibbling"
After agreement on the main issue, ask for small concessions.
They can add up and are often agreed upon without much thought.
BATNA (Best Alternative To Negotiated Agreement)
Know your fallback plan if negotiations fail.
It gives you leverage and confidence during the talk.
Zone of Possible Agreement (ZOPA)
The range in which an agreement is satisfactory to both parties.
Knowing your ZOPA can guide the negotiation process.
Splitting the Difference
Compromising for the sake of it can lead to suboptimal outcomes.
Focus on genuine value propositions rather than just meeting in the middle.
"Yes, and..."
Build on what the other party is saying instead of outright rejecting.
This keeps the conversation positive and solutions-focused.
"No" is the Start, Not the End
Getting a "no" doesn't mean the conversation is over.
There are three kinds of "no": Commitment "no", Confirmation "no", and
Counter-offer "no".
Navigate through them to find a path forward.
Beware of "Yes"; Aim for "That's Right"
Getting someone to say "yes" can often be a trap, making them defensive.
Instead, aim to get them to concede a point by saying "that's right",
signaling real agreement.
Time Pressures
Using deadlines can urge quicker decision-making.
However, be wary. Others might use this against you.
Physical Mirroring
Subtly mimic the body language and speech of the other party.
It builds unconscious rapport and trust.
Verbal Mirroring
Repeat the last few words your counterpart has just said.
This encourages them to elaborate more on their point.
Changing Negotiators
A fresh face can bring new energy or perspectives.
Can be used to stall or reset negotiations.
The "Late Night FM DJ Voice"
Use a calm and soothing voice, especially when delivering potentially
unfavorable news or points.
This helps maintain a calm atmosphere and prevent defensiveness.
Revealing Information Gradually
Don't lay all your cards on the table immediately.
Gauge the other party's reactions and adjust accordingly.
The Accusation Audit
Before entering the negotiation, anticipate and address all the negative
things the other party might think about you.
This clears the air and makes the other side more amenable to your proposals.
The Flinch
Show surprise at the other party's offer, even if it's expected.
This can make them reconsider or offer better terms.
The "7-38-55" Rule
7% of a message is based on the words used, 38% from the tone of voice, and
55% from the body language.
Be conscious of all these elements during a negotiation.
Reservation Price/Point
The least favorable point at which you will accept a negotiated agreement.
Knowing this beforehand prevents making unfavorable deals.
Reciprocity
People tend to return favors, which can be used in negotiation. Offering
something might lead the other party to reciprocate with concessions.
Objective Criteria
Base your arguments on objective, external standards like market prices,
expert opinions, or precedent.
This adds credibility and fairness to your stance.
Active Listening
More than just hearing words, it's about understanding and interpretation.
This skill helps build rapport and unearth underlying interests.
Reframing
If discussions become stuck or negative, try to reframe or rephrase the
problem or issue. This can help parties see things in a new light and find
fresh solutions.
Multiple Equivalent Simultaneous Offers (MESOs)
Instead of making one offer at a time, present multiple offers at once, all of
which are equally acceptable to you. This can speed up negotiations and show
flexibility.
Commitment
Signal or demonstrate your commitment to the negotiation. This might be
through gestures, actions, or other means.
Managing Emotions
Both yours and your counterpart's emotions can play a significant role.
Recognize, manage, and use emotions constructively.
Preparation
Perhaps the most fundamental aspect of negotiation. Know your interests,
goals, and alternatives. The better prepared you are, the stronger your
position.
Money Isn't the Only Currency
Respect, trust, future opportunities, or even simple favors can be equally
valuable in a negotiation. Understanding what the other party truly values can
provide leverage.
Embrace "I Don't Know"
It's okay not to know everything. Sometimes, admitting ignorance can be a
powerful negotiation tool, as it invites the other party to explain, possibly
revealing more than they intended.
Always Be Prepared to Walk Away
If you can't walk away from a negotiation, you're not really negotiating. If a
deal doesn't align with your goals or values, be prepared to leave it.
Passion and Emotion
Harnessing your passion can persuade and move others. That said, it's
essential to differentiate between constructive passion and blinding emotion.
The Power of Listening
Gathering information is key.
The more you know about the other party's desires, fears, and limitations, the
better positioned you are.
Understand the Value of Time
Time can be a weapon or a liability.
In negotiations, understand when to press forward, when to hold back, and when
to leverage the pressure of a ticking clock.
Seek Win-Win, But Protect Your Interests
Ensure that any agreement you reach doesn't compromise your core interests.
Question Everything
Be inquisitive.
Don't take everything at face value.
Dive deep, ask probing questions, and ensure that you have a thorough
understanding of what's on the table.
Know Yourself and Your Counterpart
In a negotiation context: Understand your strengths, weaknesses, and what
you're willing to compromise on.
Simultaneously, research and anticipate the desires and limits of the other
party.
Strategic Positioning
By strategically positioning yourself in a place of advantage or by taking the
lead in discussions, you can open up more opportunities for favorable
outcomes.
Avoid Prolonged Conflict
Dragging out negotiations can drain resources and goodwill. Aim for timely
resolutions.
Adaptability
It's essential to be adaptable and willing to change tactics or approaches
based on the situation.
Sometimes avoiding direct confrontations or contentious issues can lead to
better overall outcomes.
Subterfuge and Deception
While honesty is a cornerstone of good negotiation, there is also room for
strategy, bluffing, and not showing all your cards immediately.
Backchannel Communications
Sometimes, informal or preparatory discussions can pave the way for official
negotiations, creating a foundation of understanding.
Patience is Key
Understand that some of the best deals come with time. Don't rush if it means
compromising key points.
Understand Cultural Nuances
Recognize and respect cultural or organizational differences, as they can
significantly influence negotiation dynamics.
Preparation and Knowledge
The more you know about the subject matter, the other party, and the context,
the better positioned you are in any negotiation.
Realpolitik
Focus on the practical implications and benefits of the deal, rather than
getting bogged down in philosophical or ideological differences.